Shalom,
I am writing this email out of shock, pain, grief and heartache over the shooting at Virginia Tech. I am shaking my head over this - wondering how this could have happened, how we have become a society in which such violence is done to people and what to say to you at this difficult time.
I have no idea of what you, as a college student, are thinking or experiencing now. Nor do I know what is happening on your campus. It happens that my family is on a college tour (David is looking at schools) and we went to Hillel on the University of Florida campus after the official tour. We saw a samll table draped in white, with two yahrzeit candles burning and a book in which people could write something. This journal will be sent to VT at some point. I did not read the passages written by others; I felt it would be too much like an invasion of privacy. But I did notice that some of the passages were very brief - only one or two phrases and some of the passages were lengthy. It is a very good idea to epress solidarity with the VT community and also to give the Hillel visitors (presumably Jewish people) a way of responding to this horrible tragedy.
I also noticed that the flags on U of F were flying at half-staff.
I wonder if Jewish teachings can say anything to us. I pray three times a day - sometimes routinely and sometimes more deeply. This morning two small paragraphs which I have said 1,000's of times jumped out at me. I saw them in an entirely different way!
The first passage is "Asher Yatzar" and speaks of going to the bathroom. The short translation is that "without tubes and openings and closings we would not be able to exist and be ale to stand in Your presence, O Lord." Anybody who knows a kidney patient or taken a biology class knows how amazing the kidneys are. 2,000 years ago the Rabbis realized that normal bodily functions like elimination of wastes are essential to life. But they also applied a Jewish philosophical perspective of humility and personal awareness to something dreadfully routine and something that most people call dirty. Wow - that is uplifting!
Allow me two more short paragraphs. The next passage which follows the Asher Yatzar in the Siddur is "Elohai Neshama" which loosely translated is as follows: O my Lord - the soul; which you have given me is pure. You creatd it, you fashioned it and you breathed it into me. Some day you will take it from me (and I will die), however, you will return it to me (which means I believe in the immortality of the soul). Blessed are You, O Lord, who returns souls to the exhausted body (every morning when I awaken)."
Essentially, the Elohai Neshama speaks of the importance of the personal spirit which each one of us possesses. I believe these two paragraphs are placed next to each other every morning to remind us that we are both a physical body and also a spiritual being. What's more, we are a union of the body and the spirit.
That is how I awaken each day - I remind myself that I am more than a body, more than a soul - I am a union of two unique creations and I am unique.
This morning I saw these two prayers differently. I read Asher Yatzar as not only applying to the kidneys and responsible for our physical health and life, but also as applying to the other parts of our body, like the brain. The brain is the center of thought and reason. Ordinarily, it governs our behavior.
What if the attacker/murderer at VT had some problem in his brain? As a result he wasn't able to think in a rational fashion or able to control pent-up rage the way most people do. He wouldn't be able to exist or be able to stand in the presence of God. In essence, his crime and sin would take him out of God's presence as well as all normal human contact.
I am not saying he is off the hook. Indeed, the most central of all Jewish philosophies is individual responsibility. I am saying the Elohai Neshama prayer is the next element. I see the prayer which reminds us of the soul as the continuation of the Asher Yazar. Without soulful awareness of myself and of YOU we are nothing. Without soulful awareness of how essential you and I are to the universe there is no guidance in human behavior. We need to know that our souls are essential to keeping us morally straight in terms of our hebavior between each other. The soul has to shape all of our behavior - including how we respond to people when we are enraged, outraged, depressed, or normal daily experiences. And when those normal daily events threaten us and others the extra-special, spiritual, out-of-this-world-aspect of each one of us has to guide us in the proper direction so we don't hurt others, so we don't resort to violence, so we remember that each person on this planet is created in the image of God and therefore is infinitely precious, just as you are. And when we "check" our negative behavior towards others and halt our destructive energies, we are truly existing. Amazingly, we are standing in the presence of God. From a Jewish perspective we are capable of that condition every day. Thus, the union of the Asher Yazar and the Elohai Neshama prayers in the early morning service.
And because you were hand-made in the image of God, you hear infinite potential.
I am praying for you.
With all the shalom I have in my heart to share,
Rabbi Steve Silberman